I spent an hour at Kaiser this afternoon, only to...not see the doctor. It appears that I have a mysterious bump on my left eyeball. Or maybe it's my eyelid; I can't tell. Neither could the advice nurse (but still, how cool is Kaiser for having advice nurses?). Either way, there's a bump.
The advice nurse told me to come in RIGHT AWAY! DON'T WAIT! I told her my eye didn't hurt, wasn't swollen, and hadn't given off any alarmist propaganda other than having a bump on it. She said 4:20! DOCTOR FONG! CAN YOU GO RIGHT NOW? I could. I did.
The receptionist--who I must say was approximately 14--looked at me like I was crazy, but said, "Um, okay. Why don't you sit here in the reception area, and....I'm sure Dr. Fong will be in any minute?" I sat. I read Forever in Blue (which is turning out to be really good, by the way) until 4:45, until I asked again. "Um, I don't know," she said. "We're about to lock up here? And I kind of don't think Dr. Fong is even here on weekends? So I guess you should go to Emergency and ask them?" On the way to Emergency, I found the place where I was originally intended to go (thanks for clearing that up, Reception! Good on you!), but they had closed out their computers at ten minutes to five, and I was out of luck. Monday morning it is, then.
I'm okay--still no pain, swelling, or propaganda from the eye. I just have to stay away from my contacts until I know what's up. It's a good thing I like my glasses. I believe I will do my best Tina Fey impression tomorrow, and then see how things go from there.