Mr. Bermuda, I salute you.

Do you know who I'd like to meet? The person that invented the Bermuda short. I'd like to shake that man's hand.

I bought a pair of Bermuda shorts this weekend, my first juniors-department purchase in, what, a decade? There are lots of reasons why I love these shorts, the first and foremost being that I look like I robbed an old man and made off with his golf pants. Wearing old-man pants in public is fun. Also, they are pink and brown and green plaid, which means they go with everything I own, including my favorite "I Heart Jake Ryan" t-shirt. They're long, so I'm not doing the embarrassing two-inch inseam thing, for which I believe I'm officially getting too old, or maybe I'm just not built right for it. They're light and comfortable, and they look nice with flip-flops. They look nice with practically anything, actually. They are wonder shorts.

I also love that somebody decided to make Bermuda shorts trendy. Because, obviously, when girls are wearing the shorts equivalent of the small, small skirt (TM Bend It Like Beckham), the alternative is to convince the youth of America that geriatric shorts are the height of fashion? Is this irony, mainstreamed? Do we think they're getting the joke, or that they'd care? I don't know.

All I know is that I LOVE MY SHORTS.