Question: What are the odds of spraining(?) not one but both of one's pinkie toes in one evening at home?
Answer: For normal people, probably fairly low. For me? Chance of departure 100%.
If you must know, I was watching Mad Men and winding yarn balls--walking laps around a hank of yarn wrapped around the end of a table, rolling it into a ball as I went. And the little carved wooden feet on my couch, I swear, jumped out and attacked, all "I am a (paisley antique) lion and your little toe is a cute baby grazing-type animal!" I fended it off in a spectacular show of tripping, hopping around, and moaning, you know, as you do. After the first incident (aka "the left one"), I moved my ball-winding apparatus away from the couch and walked in the opposite direction (exposing the other foot to harm), which apparently angered the foot-chomping monster even further. Cue second ruthless baby-toe attack; tripping, hopping, moaning.
I don't really think they're broken--it hurts to move them, but they do move--but the shade of purple they're sporting this morning is really quite pretty, so you never know. And at least I'm symmetrical; it wouldn't do to have just one invalid foot.
I gotta start wearing shoes.